• Are you worried about someone else having rough times?
  • Be a friend. Help them to help themselves or find help for them.
  • Is someone else causing your rough times?
  • Protect yourself from the effects of other people's behaviour. Try to get help for them, too.

 

GTRT "What's making it rough?" looks at all sorts of things which might be a problem to you. These can just as easily be problems for someone you are affected by or care about. Use the topic pages to learn more about their problem and how they can be helped. Try to encourage them to do this themselves too.

If you are worried about someone else, a family member, boyfriend or girlfriend, mate, neighbour, someone else at school or at work you might want to help them because you care about them. You must always take care of yourself first, not to be selfish or uncaring but because otherwise you will use all your resources on someone else and have nothing to keep you going.

You can be a loyal friend as well as encouraging them to help themselves or finding help for them if they can't or won't. They may even tell you to mind your own business so be careful not to interfere except when they really do need help and you are worried.

On the other hand, their problems may be too big or too lasting for you to deal with and may be having a very bad effect on you especially if you are the victim of abuse of any kind because of them. You may need to get away or at least be protected from the situation and the person causing it, however guilty that might make you feel because you feel responsible for them or care about them.

If you don't know where to start, it might help you to look at "Having a rough time?" and decide how soon the person with the problem needs help, or how urgently you need to get away from them.

Their problems may well be listed in "What's making it rough?" so you can understand more about them and where to get help. Many specialist help sites tell you what to do if you are worried about someone else, including using their helplines or other contacts.

If you are just generally confused and worried or afraid because of someone else having a rough time call a general helpline like ChildLine or Centre 33. Connexions may be able to help with practical matters and advice. The Samaritans will always listen.

The page was last updated on 10 June 2014 by andrea.bateman.

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