We all feel angry sometimes - sometimes it can even be important to feel angry.

Why do we feel angry?

If someone hurts you, or treats you or someone you love unfairly it is alright to feel angry. At times anger can help you begin to do something about it.

You might feel angry because:

  • you have to do something you don't want to do
  • you feel something is unfair
  • you feel ill and think you are missing out on the fun
  • you are tired
  • someone has hurt you or has been angry with you
  • you can't do what you want or what your friends do

Feeling angry is difficult and it is more than feeling cross or grumpy. It affects your whole body and some people say they feel like they are going to explode when they are angry.

It is hard to know how to behave when you feel angry. Sometimes you make the wrong choices and behave in ways that hurt other people or get you into trouble.

What can you do to stop feeling angry?

The best thing to do is to try to calm down. Talking about what made us angry in the first place is easier when we feel calm and it is a good thing to learn.

You might find these things useful to calm yourself down when you feel angry:

  • going to a calm, quiet place
  • going for a walk or doing some sport
  • reading a book, listening to music or playing a game
  • shouting into your pillow and then lying down for a bit

Sometimes you might need help to find ways to calm down. There might be people at your school whose job it is to help children find ways of calming down.

It is good to ask for help. The quicker you can find ways to calm down when you start to feel angry, the better. You'll be able to calm down by yourself and think clearly about what made you angry in the first place and then work out what to do about it.

Remember, it is best to find ways to calm down as quickly as you can and talking to someone always helps!

Some young people and their families have found the organisations in the list below helpful.


The page was last updated on 31 January 2014 by andrea.bateman.

Cambridgeshire and Peterborough NHS Foundation Trust
Elizabeth House, Fulbourn Hospital
Cambridge, CB21 5EF

T 01223 219400 (open 8:30am to 5pm)
F 01480 398501

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