Being kinder to yourself

You might find yourself being quite critical about yourself, telling yourself you “shouldn’t feel so bad”, or “should be able to cope”. These thoughts feel completely true at the time, and can keep you feeling low. If you notice yourself talking or thinking about yourself in a really negative way, it would be useful to be able to learn to be a little kinder to yourself. Most people struggle at some point in their lives, often when there are more stressful situations than they are able to cope with at that time. It can be more helpful to say to yourself something like “I am struggling at the moment, but I have ideas and am working to improve things”. If it is difficult to think of how to talk to yourself in an encouraging way, perhaps you could imagine a friend came to you in the same situation. What would you say to that friend? Learning to be a supportive friend to yourself can help you to feel much more resilient when difficult things happen in life.

Sometimes people find it helpful to think of having two voices – the BIG VOICE is the critical voice, which can be very loud and difficult to ignore, but there is a second LITTLE VOICE, which is kinder and more compassionate. If you can try to turn up the volume of the LITTLE VOICE you should find that you have a more balanced view of how you are doing.

For more ideas about how to overcome critical thoughts about yourself click here

The page was last updated on 26 July 2012 by alykhan.valani.

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