YOUnited Bullying Resources

YOUnited

Bullying Advice & Resources

What is bullying?

Bullying is the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, when the relationship and dynamics involve an imbalance of power. Creating feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. Bullying can by physical, verbal, or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or online.

The four key elements within this definition are Hurtful, Repetitive, Intentional, and Power Imbalance.

Definitions of bullying behaviours:

Physical: pushing, poking, kicking, hitting, biting, punching etc.

Verbal: name-calling, teasing, threats, sarcasm, spreading rumours, belittling.

Emotional: tormenting, intimidating, isolating others, threatening gestures, ridicule, excluding, manipulation and coercion.

Sexual: unwanted physical contact, inappropriate touching, homophobic abuse, abusive comments, exposure to inappropriate films etc.

Online/cyber: posting on social media, sharing photos, sending cruel/nasty test messages, social exclusion.

Indirect: the exploitation of individuals, groups, and others.

Research shows that bullying tends to be a group behaviour, the traditional roles of bullying where there is a ‘victim’ and a ‘bully’ is much more complicated. To find out more information on the roles involved in bullying, please visit the website below.

https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/tools-information/what-bullying/bullying-group-behaviour

Why do bullies bully?

When we see the damage that can be caused, it is easy to be angry and dismissive towards bullies, but research tells u that the majority of those who bully do so because they don’t feel okay within themselves. There is not one reason for why people bully, but those who engage in this behaviour may:

Suffer from insecurity and low self-worth/self-esteem.

Feel powerless and use bullying to feel powerful.

Have limited social skills and use bullying as a way of controlling relationships.

Have been victims of bullying themselves or experienced other traumatic experiences and bully others to cope with the difficult feelings they may be experiencing.

Whatever the reason, bullies often deserve empathy too. In some circumstances, with a young person’s consent, a referral into YOUnited for specialist support around the bullying behaviour they exhibit may be appropriate.

What to do if you are being bullied?

If you are experiencing bullying, it is important to remember that it is not your fault or that you are the problem. It is the bullying that needs to change and not you! Being bullied can leave you feeling low, helpless, and alone. You are not alone and there are people around you that care about you and want to help. for this reason, and your own mental health/well-being, it is important to talk to someone you trust and follow these simple steps:

Don’t suffer in silence

We know that it can be hard and scary to reach out for help but speak to an adult you trust. This could be a parent/guardian, form tutor, pastoral care, head of year or any teaching staff you trust. If your school has an Anti-Bullying Ambassador, you can also reach out to one of those students for support. Every school has a duty of care to look after their students and should have a bullying policy they are required to follow when you disclose you are being bullied.

Save the evidence

Keep a record of what has been happening to you -remember the 4 W’s: What, Where, When and Who. This will help the person supporting you to understand the situation and help you resolve it. Your parent or guardian might be able to help you create your records of events.

Know your friends

Make sure you only hang around with people who make you feel good about yourself. If someone makes you feel scared, sad, or makes you do things you don’t want to do, they are not your friend.

Seek a place of safety

If you are risk of harm, take yourself away from the situation. Do whatever it takes not to get hurt. That may mean finding safe place at break or lunch time like a classroom or the library. Try your best to seek help as soon as you can.

Love yourself

Being bullied can leave you feeling sad and rubbish. You are not rubbish. You are amazingly-unique and life will get better. It’s important to keep doing things that make you feel good about yourself and stay connected to your passions and hobbies.

Plan the next steps

Your school should put an action plan in place to stop the bullying behaviour and keep you safe. If your school does not take you seriously and you’ve already approached your school’s Anti-Bullying Ambassador, your parents/guardian can arrange a meeting in school to talk through how the situation will be resolved.

What can I do if I’m bullying someone?

If you think that you might be displaying bullying behaviour, it is important to compliment and acknowledge the self-awareness of your behaviour. It shows you are taking your actions seriously and want to find ways to stop, this is a really positive start. Bullying is a behaviour and not a label, meaning with the right support positive changes are possible. Here are some top tips on what to do if you think you might be displaying bulling behaviour and want to stop.

Reflect on your behaviour

Have a read at the definition and types of bullying. It can be easy to dismiss bullying as a ‘joke’ or ‘banter’. Both of which are a factor or healthy friendships usually both parties are in on the joke. It is light-hearted, equal and does not target things you know will cause offence or hurt like race, religion, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity. You may be feeling guilt about your actions, but guilt can be a powerful tool as it can encourage us to face up to something and motivate us to change.

Talk to someone

You may be going through your own problems, or a painful life experience. Speak to someone you trust and reach out for support. But working through your problems, you are trying to figure out solutions for how you could do things differently. Reaching out for help, especially with a trusted adult, means you don’t have to deal with things alone.

Be accountable

With your trusted adult, thing about ways you could make amends with those you have bullied. Say sorry and off them support but remember they may not want to speak to you, and you will need to respect their position.

The effects of bullying on children and young people

Bullying has many effects, it can impact physical health, emotional wellbeing, education, life outside of school, and overall sense of self. Many of those who are being bullied struggle to feel safe and secure, which may have lasting effects on several areas of their lives. In fact, research shows that those who have experienced bullying, might be twice as likely to use mental health services as an adult.

Specialist support may be required to support individuals come to terms with their experiences and re-build a sense of internal and external safety. It is important to note, the bullying will need to be resolved, as much as possible, for any specialist support to have any meaningful impact.

For further information on the effects of bullying, visit the following websites:

https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/bullying/advice-for-parents/how-does-bullying-affect-your-child

https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/bullying-suicide.html

https://www.antibullyingpro.com/support-and-advice-articles/self-harm-and-bullying-behaviour

Resources

YOUnited Bullying Resources

Search the CPFT NHS Trust website

YOUnited

Bullying Advice & Resources

What is bullying?

Why do bullies bully?

What to do if you are being bullied?

What can I do if I’m bullying someone?

The effects of bullying on children and young people

Resources

General

Advice for Children & Young People

Advice for Parent/Carers

Resources For Schools

For professionals

For professionals

About the Trust

About the Trust

Services

Services